Month: February 2018

The Dinner by Herman Koch

Wow!  This was a shocking story.  It had great build-up and it held the suspense.  As the reader, it kept me guessing the entirety of the novel.  I could not predict how this story was going to end.  Every time I thought I had figured it out, I was met with another surprise.  I think that I’m still unsure of what was true and what was in his mind.

I loved the structure of the book.  I loved that it was centered around a traditional meal and its stages of drinks, appetizer, main course, etc.  It was as if the story unfolded as we were given more substance.  And just like dinner, sometimes we aren’t happy with our choices.  Sometimes we are disappointed or choose something for the wrong reasons.  It was a great vehicle for this story.  It showed the propriety and the societal manners in which we approach our meal.  It was also the very mannerism that deconstructed the horrible events of the story.  The juxtaposition of eating a fancy dinner while trying to iron out a sinister action.

I really feel that the wife might have been the more manipulative and sinister of the four adults.  She was secretly plotting against her husband in every aspect of their life, all the while he thinks he is sheltering her from the horrific news.

This story was about finessing bad news and the ulterior motives to keep silent.   The “dinner” was all a ruse by all parties to manipulate the outcome of that evening.  It was the only way that these parents could “protect” their children from the terrible decisions they had made.

I think this book really highlighted how people view wrong and right.  And to what extent they are willing to except bad behavior when it could hurt someone they love.  There is a feeling that as a parent we need to protect our children and fight for their rights.  As a parent, we have this need to keep our kids from doing something wrong.  We need to help them know right from wrong and we need to protect them from bad situations.  That all changes when you realize your child has broken the law and has faltered morally.  We are also introduced to the fact that mental illness could be playing major roles in the “bad behavior” in society.  It also shows us how most people are choosing to handle mental illness…by sweeping it under the rug.

How much should we protect our children when they do something that is clearly morally wrong?

To what length would you protect your child from a moral and criminal action?

What kind of blame should the parents in this situation shouldered?

What did you think of the ending?

What does the ending reflect?

Is this something you feel could actually happen?  Is this an unrealistic plot and conclusion?

Did you actually enjoy reading this book?  Did you appreciate the moral dilemma?

Rise: How a House Built a Family by Cara Brookins

The premise of this story was intriguing to me: A single mom of four building her own home from the footings to the roof tiles.

‘Is it true?’ was my first question and ‘How is that possible?’ was my second question.  It seemed like an intimidating and insurmountable task to build a house without the “professionals”.  I’m not saying that I would take this on because this is not my dream but it was inspiring to know that those things we think that we cannot do are actually achievable and anyone can be successful at anything they take to heart.

It was an uplifting story overall and I applaud the main character for her bravery in facing adversity…. but (you knew it was coming), there were just so many missteps.  I am by no means a critic of people’s personal choices but I also feel that she kept getting involved with people who were abusive and put her children in jeopardy of being truly hurt.  I do not take lightly the fact that her husband tortured the family dog and she hid it…she didn’t report it!  Fear is paralyzing.  It is what keeps you on your toes and it represses its slave.  Fear is a tormentor to the tortured and this character was inhibited by it.

I felt like this book was really two books. One book is the inspirational anecdote of personally rising from ashes while dually building a house from the ground up.  The second book was all the wrong ways to raise your children while juggling several abusive husbands.  I wish the author had provided some insight into how her children felt during this time period of instability.  She conveys her own angst but barely touches on the children’s fears.  I’m still on the fence about recommending this book.  It had some highlights but also some very obvious holes.  There was a lot of information that was missing from this story.

Did you have empathy for the main character?

Did you like her?

What do you wish she would have done differently in telling this story?

Would you have exposed yourself personally by telling the same story?

What was missing from this story for you?

How do you think this family is functioning now?